There’s nowhere we can hide

September is here.
And suddenly I feel like writing in English.
Actually I feel really different lately. No because something happened or I want to change. It's one of those moments when you know you're changing and you have no idea if you want to or is it going to be a good or a bad change. It's just happening. And we all know there's no way to stop it.
So I'm in different mood pretty much every second. But that's not surprising. It's always like that in September. The end of summer is always pretty emotional for me. It's an end and a beginning in the same time which is pretty confusing I guess.
Which leads me to the though of one the most amazing summers I had. If you ask me why I can sit here all night and tell you about every single little thing that made me smile or feel happy. And I'm guessing you won't be very entertained. So I won't do this to you. I'm still not that cruel. But the best thing about it is that even when I forget about all the little things that made me smile I will still remember the feeling this summer brought me. It's not fading away, it's going to be my warmth when the winter comes.
I had the best time at Arapya this year. It was so perfect. Nothing like I imagined it was going to be and still even more perfect. I won't tell you all about it either. It's something you can't really describe in a few sentences. Actually I can't describe it even if I write a whole book about it. Because I can't describe a feeling. That's the weakness of my writing. Strong feelings are always the hardest to explain.
I'm trying to prepare myself for the new school year. The last school year. It's strange to know this is my last year in school. I have absolutely no idea where I'll be at this time next year. Maybe Milan, or London, or Rome... or even Sofia. I don't know. I don't know what I want, I don't know where is the best place to be. For me. I want to make the right choice for once. I don't want to regret it again and the next five years to be like the last. I guess we'll see.
Until then I have four days of freedom left. And I think I really want to make them worth. I want this summer to have the ending it deserves. And all starts here, at Sapareva Banya. Here where it started.
There's nowhere we can hide from the falling leaves and the rain and the cold. There's nowhere we can hide from the autumn. But maybe soon we won't have to. Maybe the change won't be only for me. Maybe it will be the big change I need. We need. Maybe finally even autumn will bring a feeling worth remembering. Maybe.